Silly poem thing ... Siamese dreams

You make me feel sad

My face turn red

And my chest I know someday my brain will explode

I hate that I know 

That you know

The more you freeze me out 

I still will be your home

9 years falling through the rabbit hole scream now

here goes another one 1-2-1-2

always alone its never enough
why can't i be the only one
obviously i'm not enough
--
little girl of seven or eight
i don't like boys there not my want
and i never wanna taste the stuff they say that .....

already by eleven or twelve
i dont wanna play nice
ill just be the other lover
i know it'll all fail
 i'll be that other woman .....or ever trusted friend
more devious then....or wanting to be then i'lll ever be or ever have been

its not enough to be with you
assumed the dull role as the  live in guest
a servant of chance of something coming in
knowing ever word thats came out of his heart and out of that pen

ya maybe i didn't tell you enough how great you are
that the reason i chose you and continue to stay with you is you are the brightest f*ing star
in a solar system of nothings you attract the best and the stars who cant burn as bright
slowly faid into that moonlersss night
that ever dreaded abyss

and me you know i'm only fizzle
but you gathered me all up and kept me through some seemed hopeless nights
and ya i fall back in love with you even when i'm trying to see we're no good in full circle
well not really its just that i don't think  u could ever know and never will u pseudo-sun

its a bet and a ball maybe some jacks.....

i'm not gonna leave....cuz we both know. id never come back
with a flask some bars i bid you goodnight
you never listened to that stupid song i didn't write and ya just kno it is no big deal but dont lie to the birds just tell the demons how you feel about all my zilked ramblings and that annoying look i do all those reasons that you hate about you...i mean me its me not just a reflection of self when one brings up pushes down and then drowns the one that they love
i've never been one for exits so i'll turn out the light
sit in the space that is my muse, likeness, n make light
of all the things that i love and the futures soo bright and what the delirium brings to consume and change me to another and see another side

byebye

beat the clock

Create a change of profound effect
Rippling throughout the world for all to reflect

so i left my home
once a dream
i had created and all its comforts
for a love thats only in
the books i've read

oh what a terrible disaster
put on
by a product of obsession
and want to be a silver screen scarlet

this is what you get
i dont aim that way anymore

never wanted a married man
a drama filled love life
like the tv screen said

the journey
the path their and back
radiohead the bends
are everything to me

the best times and the worst times
and our whole past
prove to be as hollow as a happy days goodbye

its just a memory i can love completly
when ur really with me

till then
i'm indifferent of all the money
and all the time spent
and the truth of that time when you said that

this isn't me this isn't me
you know i get busy
to full of ideas
plagues that haven't left the surface yet
-------------
how can we look past their dance
clocks keep waving their wands
humming and clicking
doin all that can do to get our attention
days fly away
down a dirty mirror
bringing back all the meaining once again
so i let the wall down for the 2nd time
no returning from the places we been
said you had to get out just stay here in the south where the people are gentler and have no masks
and i'm waiting for a sign
and your waiting for a line
to go to the places and heavenly high's we both know you can find
so the storm moves away to a neighboring state
and air is left calm on this changing day

old...er

Its so great that someone with so much knowledge and a clear perspective of the world can be mine.
I guess it was nothing you did that bothered me oh yes you've made me see it was just me
getting me back in ways you could say
its not me babe you're delusional/psychotic
never could we utter the bantu words "you're just high"
It was never the indulging it was the hate that grew and festered in time
for you luck you it went away when u got that tickle swivel oh its time i get hard this time
hard headed stand for anything
if no ones leeaving  we got the the rest of our lives to waste time
you waste my time
how dare i mention a struggle
it was nice to you to save you from urself
crazy girl but your dumb delusional stupid jealous and hateful all the same

this will be the last time i have to hear your bs nightmare lullabies.